sem título, escrito em 2009

I hadn't seen it for a long time
I thought I was free,
But it's inside of me forever.

The sad songs are not enough
They seem to be happy
Even my eyes are closed.

My bitter memories make me wish the past to come back
I guess the butterflies inside my belly feel better than me
They're sleeping like deads now.

My bitter memories burn my eyes
And make me know that love life doesn't exist worth.

Pelo não-ser humano que eu já sou

Se passaram quatro anos agora
A mim, me parece que fui forte, no princípio
Cada palavra era consciente e precisa
E os sentimentos tão seguros, apesar de tudo.
O abandono não pôde levar ao desespero;
Ao contrário, encorajou a força.
Mas se passaram quatro anos agora
Então as mãos se cansam de tapar os olhos,
Que quanto mais veem, mais querem ver
Não mais só o que é bom e sublime
Mas toda a tão sincera indiferença.
Olhos inescrupulosos
Adentram fundo o todo
Para ver a crueldade.
O todo se torna o avesso
E o cansaço cresce
De dentro pra fora.
Quatro anos se passaram
Em todas as vidas, de todas as pessoas
Que envelheceram tanto,
Que agora não se parecem mais
Porque o tempo soube separar.

"E é quando a força e a coragem se transformam em seus opostos na solidão.
E quando uma traição tem força suficiente para desencorajar toda a confiança."

For Emily, whenever I may find her

I should have told you how beautiful you looked that last night I saw you; you were shining
You asked me why I wasn't happy too and I should have told you

Should have told you what I've learnt by the pain of being all alone
But no, I can't.
No one's gonna teach you how to do.
Anyway you're not one of those who people leave
But I should have told you everything
I should have told you anything at all...
How I love you...
I never thought you'd leave me.

(maio, 2012)

With your eyes you can't see that my skin is burning
Your fingers wouldn't dare touch me
With your questions you don't want true answers
'Cause with your lies you pretend to care and don't care about lying
These walls won't let me in, won't let you in
How do you feel now?
Too much love I've lost,
What about you?
Such a wasted time
Have you ever felt like givin' in 'cause of that?
I keep yelling out but you can't hear my voice
My troath catch my moans, stuck in my stomach
Does your skin burn like mine?
You would laugh now: how'd you feel if I'd touch you?
But you can't look at my eyes - 'cause you don't want to
And you couldn't hear me 'cause you're much too far away...